Sometimes I daydream of lying beside you.
The specifics of where and why are – unimportant.
I am drawn to the calm and serenity that shares our space
And invoke a gentle sunlight that trickles in through the half-closed curtains
To produce flowing shadow art on wall, bed and our naked bodies.
I see grey, white, brown and faded colors – nothing glaring or abrupt;
Leave all that for the brutal outside world; in here all is quiet, intimate and tender.
I desire to be and lie in silence
And listen to the rhythm of our shared breathings
As we inhale and exhale deeply, slowly – in rest
And open ourselves up to holding and being held
Without politics, tension, worry, thought – at ease
With how we are; who we are; and the unknown that lies between us.
Unrushed I imagine being the one who adores.
Humbled, I am given permission to admire.
I am a critic lost for words. My eyes trace your body
And while prone to romanticism I do not romanticise I will not romanticise
Trivialize or fall prey to disingenuous sentimentalism in the telling of how
I do I do I do and cannot help but be
Fascinated by how soft and subtle your skin feels under my gently tracing fingers
How your curves are beautiful in how they give shape and form
And how you smile, how your lips curve and your dimples charm.
I trace the outlines of your body with my eyes and realize how much variation
Of texture, color and contour finds creative embodiment therein.
In my daydream, your eyes enrapture me the most. They sparkle; are alive.
I gaze and am held motionless as
In looking we become vulnerable and revealed to one another;
So much intimacy; too much to bare for long,
So that I feel my heart begin to beat – faster, conspicuously, tellingly.
You return my gaze with curiosity and playfulness and
It is your body – relaxed – and your smile – engaged, humble, loving
That calm and exude safety, care, safekeeping.
Your secrets are safe with me, you seem to say, and my trembling ceases.
Your hand rests on my chest, on my heart and gently
We kiss – again and again
Until the day grows late and
Side by side
We fall asleep
To keep each other warm
Until the morning when all begins anew.